In which I make up for not blogging by rambling for a very long time, which is obviously everyone's favorite style of blogging

Well, it's a new year, and it's been almost exactly 4 months since my last post.

I was sick in bed for a few weeks in October, then, since Halloween, I've been working on grad school apps like crazy (as most of you know).  It's felt like a 2+ month long exam week.  Barf.  But I'm finally done with the hard stuff -- research, writing sample, etc. -- and am just uploading, submitting, and paying schools absurd amounts of money for the privilege of letting them decide if they feel like rejecting me. Yay! 

The crazy thing is that through this process and through a little more talking to those of you who already have PhDs, I've decided I don't really want to go to grad school if I do get in.  So much incredibly miserable work (working on my writing sample reminded me I really don't like writing very much), with so little chance of reaching my ultimate goal, and I'm not sure it's actually a goal I'd even want if I got it:  even more incredibly hard work, stress, and busyness; not much free time or time for art or a family; dealing with ...students!  Ew.  So I'll probably stay in publishing.  I'm very glad to have at least come to some sort of decision regarding what I want to do -- it's been about 10 years in the making -- but I do wish I'd managed not to waste the holiday season and almost a thousand dollars on apps and sending out GRE scores figuring it out.  Realistically, I think that's the only way I'd have come to that solid a conclusion, but... *sniff* Christmas.  Savings.  Both... gone...........

Plus, now I'm in a bit of a pickle.  I'm looking for other publishing jobs; I've applied to one in Seattle I really want.  But if I do get into a grad program and by that point haven't gotten a new job I like, do I stay at Current Workplace in my current dead-end job, or do I go get a masters in the hope that it will help me achieve a better position in publishing, risking that I'll end up critically unemployed when the masters is over?  Woe.  In the meantime, I'm going to research what I should really be doing if my ultimate goal is, say, an acquisitions editor position or something.  

But either way, I have no idea where I'll be in seven months, which is disconcerting.  Roomie!K bought a condo with her boyfriend and will be moving out, and I'm not sure what the situation is with, uh, other-Roomie!K.  New Roomie.  Craigslist Roomie.  Who has been great, by the way.  My apartment's a fun place to live, and everyone's really friendly and good about being considerate and pulling their own weight.  It's a good situation -- too bad it isn't going to last very long.

In other news, I'm taking another pottery class. :)  I actually took one in November when all my grad school app work was ramping up, which... maayy not have been the best decision?  It was a raku class: raku is a relatively newly developed pottery technique which involves treating your pieces with certain kinds of glazes, taking them out of the kiln when they're orange hot, then enclosing them in metal containers with combustibles like straw or newspaper so the flames will either stain the pieces with smoke or leech certain chemicals out of the glazes and give you a coppery or metallic finish.  It was interesting, but I was really stressed and didn't technically have time for it.  Unfortunately my teacher won't be offering it again til next fall, and again, who knows where I'll be, so I decided to go for it.  It was a bit overwhelming, but interesting.  I'm back on the potter's wheel for this class, and it's tons of fun, and more relaxing.  

The pottery class and the fun, supportive roommate social atmosphere, together with almost having my apps completely done, are helping keep my mood up, and I just had a legitimately relaxing weekend for the first time in forever.  It was both relaxing and productive, which is the best kind -- I got tons of laundry washed and put away, I hand-washed some scarves and painted my toenails, and I got my room semi-straightened, the junk on my bedside dresser put away, a few things organized in the bathroom, and my purse cleaned out.  I also ran a few errands, getting my watch battery replaced, picking up a couple plain long-sleeved tees for layering, and I bought new slippers, too, which are practically perfect in every way.  (Much as I loved the pink bunnies R!Kim gave me when my old ones went kaput, these are a bit more practical and, well, harder to trip over.  Minus points for not scaring Gracie as much, though.)  It was so good to just shut myself in my room with my music and straighten things, or even just sit still for a bit.  The roommates, who used to reliably be gone all weekend every weekend, have been around a lot more this winter, as have their boyfriends, so it's been a full house lately.

Also, R!Kim's boyfriend decided for whatever reason that he was interested in watching the BSG miniseries this weekend, which was pretty much the frosting on my cake.  Can a weekend get any better?  

I just started reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, which, although I'm not very far into it, has already been an empowering read.  It's good just to be reminded that just because you don't like meeting new people, going to loud parties, dating, or promoting yourself to businesses, doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.  It's a good read so far.  Also, people keep recommending it to me, which, at some point you start wonder about what that says about how you come off.  Holly, you really need to read this book about introverts!  It made me think of you!  Hmm.

Maybe now that life's not too crazy, I'll actually be back on here again after not too long.  I need to get back into a regular running schedule again (yay!), which will take up a lot of time, and I'm trying to promise myself more down time like last weekend, since it was so restorative.  And I need to see people, too. :) So we'll see what happens.  

Have a good January, people!  :)